What determines who you are, where you are in your life, and where you’re going?
Your age isn’t the primary factor. How many people do you know that are just like you because they are the same age as you? There’s a lot more at play here. Defining yourself in terms of chronological age is an outdated habit that won’t help you create the life you want. It’s like keeping one foot on the brake while your pressing down on the gas.
Let’s take baby boomers as an example. There is really no such thing. Sociologists, demographers, and the media define baby boomers as people born between (and including) 1946 and 1964. That means one alleged baby boomer is 65 while another is only 47. One could be retired while the other is climbing mountains. One could be having a first child while the other is becoming a great grandparent.
The 47 year old could be retired AND starting a new family. The 65 year old could be climbing mountains and becoming a great grandparent for the first time. Think about it.
Age is not the point. The obesity epidemic isn’t driven by age. The explosion of yoga classes isn’t driven by age. The statistically huge shift away from the “traditional” family isn’t driven by age. The need for meaning throughout our lives isn’t driven by age.
The real emerging standards for high quality, successful lives between 50 and elderly are:
- vitality
- health
- active engagement; and
- social agility/adaptability
I’d like to clarify an important point here, why I keep saying between 50 and elderly. We know a lot about what a 5 year old has to be good at as she gets older: 10, 15, and 20 years…and we can help her get there. We know a lot about the kinds of support and services that are needed for the elderly (defined as when people can no longer fully self-manage).
What we are beginning to create now is what we need for our lives between 50 and elderly. This applies to each of us an individuals and to society as a whole.
Now is the time to take a clear look at the paradigms, language, and images we’re stuck in and that don’t work for us anymore. Now is the time to shift the paradigms and create new language and mindsets that work for all of us.
It’s an investment of time, energy, money, and effort in ourselves that we deserve and is critical to a high quality of life for all of us.
Where do we start? Let’s start by stopping…
Let’s stop defining ourselves by age alone.
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Take an honest look at your life and experience: What are the paradigms, language, and images that you’re stuck in? How about society? If you could change one thing, what would it be?
“Let’s start by stopping … .”
George – This quote is such a clean and clear way of stopping all that age-related and repetitive ‘can/can’t do/what one could have done/what one would have done/what might one have done/what they need to do (so that I could do/could have done … ) /what others need to do (so that I can then do/could have done … ), etc.’ energy from yesterday and directing one’s way forward … or, as you said, ” … start by stopping” in order to move/transition into the life one wants … ahead. No easy feat for any mortal in our culture! – Lee
Hi Lee. I think we start by stopping one moment and day at a time. For me it’s about catching myself (or others catching me) and reminding me that I’m doing it again. Not all of us want to hear it. Most of us can use the help. I always appreciate and enjoy your postings and observations. Please keep it up, George
Your post about “AGE” truly impacts our societal focus on “ageism” and the “realities of aging” In reality our life journal represents our personal well-being towards dealing with the challenges we face as older-adults. I liked your comparison of 65/47 pointing out that our life journey is an individual life experience. I will share your comments with my students this coming week. Have a great 4th. Until our next web sharing.
Hi Dr. Bill. How did it go when you presented the ideas to your class? What happened then and what has happened as a result over time? I think we can have an individual and group cumulative effect. Am very interested in your learning and observations from experience. Please let me know. And thanks. George
I could write a small book about my 2 sets of grandparents. Until I got maierrd and moved away myself, we would spend one weekend a month with my maternal grandparents and several times a month with my paternal grandparents. My maternal grandmother taught me the wonder and beauty of memorizing scripture and baking bread; my paternal grandmother was gentle lady who listened! When I learned to drive I’d LOVE spending weekends with them -just ME and them!! My own children’s grandparents lived far away, but my parents came to visit at least once every 3 months and the kids and I would visit every summer! My parents are still living and we get together at least once every 2-3 months! My husbands father is gone and his mother has Alzheimer’s. I will always cherish my grandparents and now that I am a grandmother, I cherish the times I can spend with my grandson and granddaughter even though they live far away too.
I am a 57yr old single grneapdrnat my grandson was placed with me by social services aged 4 months due to neglect, after a long and drawn out court case i was awarded special guardianship .He is 18 months old now and happy and thriving ,on the other hand my medical problems have worsened and i am almost housebound now, i had to give my job up and move home to accommodate us both. i get very little help or support and none whatsoever from either parents. I adore my grandson and made the decision to raise him i have concerns about what would happen if i had to go into hospital so tend not to go to the doctors unless i really have to, I am so afraid he may be taken into care. I do not get any respite at all and other family members have busy lives so i have to get on with it.Any single grneapdrnats out there with similar problems.
Hi Granny NannyGrandparents are certainly sanivg the government money. We are what I call the forgotten class in society, foster parents are recognised for what they do, we are not. This may sound bitter; I am not really, just that the government should be applauding grandparents who are raising their grandchildren, not making their life more difficult.